Atlanta Pre Wedding Counseling
Reverend Luna Pre Marital Counseling,
When is love not enough?
Questions and deal breakers you must ask before entering married.
Comments and discussions from Wedding Officiant, Pastor, Interfaith, All Religions, Alternative Ceremonies, Reverend Luna PreMarital Counseling,
#1 – – Children
Making a decision to have a baby when one parent doesn't want to have children, is not fair to the child, and not fair to your marriage. There are no options in this issue. If you disagree in this, do not get married.
#2 – - Money
The main issue is whether you can calmly and practically talk about money. How your money will be spent, saved, or not spent, is an big and important issue after your wedding. If neither you nor your future spouse refuse to talk about money, or your future spouse does not think that money is not important, postpone your wedding until this issue is solved.
#3 – - Sex
Sexual libido, frequencies, preferences, expectations, and feelings about pornography, masturbation, and fantasies, can tear a marriage apart. The sex must be openly communicated. If you and your partner are unable to talk about sex, instead of addressing your issues with everyone else, cancel the wedding. This issues increases the partner's frustration and compounds anger.
#4 – – In-laws
The amount of money you spend on your in-laws should not interfere in your marriage. Set boundaries with your own family when it comes to visits, birthdays, phone calls, finances, children, etc., If not handled from the beginning and expectations set this family problem will only get worse.
#5 – Household Chores
Who cooks and who does the dishes? And who cleans the toilet, vaccums, and the who cuts the grass? The "why should I?" or "Isn't that your job?", can be negotiated:
a. You can hire someone to do the chores that neither of you wants to do.
b. Surrender and accept doing 90% of the chores around the house.
c. Do the household chores together. The family that does chores together, stays together.
If these options do not work out, call off the wedding. This issue won't suddenly get better after the wedding.
#6 – Time
The way you plan to spend your time will reveal several things.
a. How your future spouse likes to spend their free time.
b. How each other value the time you spend together. Do you have fun with each other and like doing together?
c. Whether or not you will come first before work.
The balance of work, recreation, family, and personal time or time together is not easy. This a good way to discover how much those old friends, extended family, the computer, fun, sports, and quiet time mean to one another.
#7 –Vices and Addictions
Do you need to have a drink everyday after work? Are you the only one that smokes? Do you love to eat in bed? Are you a hoarder or a have OCD. The history of tobacco and drugs, will reveal whether your future spouse has a potential addiction problem. Addictions can end up threatening your marriage and also put you in legal and financial jeopardy.
#8 – Verbal and Physical Abuse
Anger management issues, or a controlling spouse that insist in knowing who you see and what you do, or is causing you to walk on egg shells, cancel your wedding. Keep an eye for signs of an abusive personality and do not disregard the signals. This is a problem for a professional counselor or the law, not you.
#9 –Being Faithful
Most couples prefer a monogamous relationship so if your future spouse and you have differing opinions on what cheating is or isn't, don't get married until this issue has been discussed openly.
#10 – Long-lasting Marriage
Discussing what as a couple you will be doing 40 to 50 years from the wedding. If your future spouse can't answer this or won't answer this, then the two of you need to talk about your marriage expectations. Why marry someone who will not be there in long haul?
Wedding Officiant, Pastor, Interfaith, All Religions, Alternative Ceremonies, Reverend Luna Pre Marital Counseling,
